Since the funeral yesterday, I have spent countless moments of silence staring into the distance with many thoughts racing through my head about what is important and what is not. His tragic death has severely disrupted the peaceful and affable atmosphere that emanated in my humble home.
When Mike was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (at Easter time) the only option was chemotherapy, it was too dangerous to operate and if this had been an option, the disease had spread too far for it to do any real help. I didn’t know then how much of an effect the chemo would have on him- it drowned him of all his energy making it very difficult for him to fight the disease head on. The man who I admired began to lose his fight and it wasn’t long before the disease took a real hold of him. The cancer had metastasized to his liver and it was hopeless.
Up until the very last minute you could see this "palikari" trying to fight it with all his power, but the disease consumed him.
Diseases like these are beyond human comprehension.
This is the only cancer that is fatal. Sure some medics say that with early detection we would have had some hope, but there were no guarantees. Unfortunately this is a disease that is not talked about. People do not know the symptoms and it is an illness that is not easily detected by doctors. Something needs to be done to educate and inform the public about pancreatic cancer so that people have a better chance of surviving and standing up to cancer in the future. Over the past few months HellasFrappe has published many stories about this type of cancer, and if you want to find out more then I suggest that you go to the health and well-being section and begin reading up on its symptoms.
I just wanted more time for him, and certainly for us. This past year was quite difficult and draining for everyone who loved him but we all agreed, we wanted more time. Some might characterize that as selfish, but I could see it in his eyes, he wanted the same thing.
As with other moments in my life, writing helped, and helps. Over the past few days sharing my feelings with all of you somewhat eased the pain and reading your messages gave me hope that the "filotimo" I always speak of, which is unique in our community, is alive and well. Obviously it does not heal the wound in my heart but it does honor Mike and our vision for a better tomorrow and right now that is all that matters to me. Mike needs to be honored and I feel compelled to tell the world about what a wonderful man he was.
I hope that by sharing this private moment in my life you are all able to take wisdom from it as well, as I said in my previous post I believe that God intended that this be a teachable moment for me.
Truth has become ever so clear to me especially with regard to what really matters in our lives, especially when we are brushed by death’s wing. That is why I want to encourage you all to go right now to the people you love and tell them that you love them. Don’t wait until you are home from work. Get on the phone, send an SMS, get in your car, board a ship, bus, train or whatever it takes and make sure you let the people that matter most to you know that you unconditionally love them. Your mothers, your fathers, your children, your friends, your dog, anyone or anything that matters most to you. Death is unpredictable. It could happen as soon as tomorrow. So do it today. Do it now.
That is all for now. Again, thanks for listening.
P.S. - As I said previously, your messages of compassion have touched me greatly but I will undoubtedly need your continued support. If you follow this blog, if you believe in the vision Mike and I shared about this blog, then stop for a moment and trust its core. I don't know how else to get this message across to all of you without fearing that it will once again be ignored. Make a donation, post the articles on your facebook walls, tweet our stories, put them in your facebook groups, forums, everywhere. Please help me continue this vision. Support it. HellasFrappe can be grand if it receives the support it rightfully deserves. Mike passed on, but this blog and our vision for a better world cannot die. Will you help me?
Signed
Marina Spanos
Editor HellasFrappe
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