OPINION: Fear not Greece, there are always good Germans with whom you can empathise - LOL

By John Ward (The Slog) -  The Financial Times writes that Sigmar Gabriel, Germany’s vice-chancellor and head of the country’s Social Democratic party — long seen as a more conciliatory political group — penned an article for Monday’s daily Bild newspaper in which he warned patience towards Greece in Germany was running thin. In a global exclusive, The Slog obtained permission to put into words what Herr Gabriel meant to write:

     ‘We in the SPD think it is time to put the shot across your bowels, SYRIZA. Our patience is wearing thin with your time-wasting, infantile suggestions for compromise. Time and time again and over and over we Germans have tried to be honest with you but you insist on negotiating about the non-negotiable.
     Our own tragically disabled Herr Schäuble spent many long and painful hours explaining to you very slowly because you are Greek and stupid that your plans for recovery could never work as well as ours were doing before you used the brazen distraction of an election to poke your nose into things that do not concern you and the understanding of which are way beyond your crypto-communist ideology that burnt the Reichstag down in 1933 and forced unser geliebter Fuhrer to declare a State of Emergency against his better democratic judgement.
     It is clear to us that your claimed destiny of bowing to our every wish was not promised in good faith, because here we are nine weeks into a process in which we Eurogermans have never once wavered from our promise to stick to the rule of no compromises, but you destructive Soviet partisans continue to introduce suggestions. How many times do we have to tell you that suggestions are strengstens vervoten and disobeying the rules of give and take in in this discussion into which we on our side have entered to take back that which you took so greedily having been given the chance to borrow far more than you could every repay and then took the piss as if it was your God-given right to take what you were given, I mean what could be clearer than that Gott in Himmel?
     German workers may have social democratic leanings like me, but they are nevertheless able to see their national duty to defend the Vaterland, and that is why the National Socialism in their genes shouts nein, nein and again nein in the face of string-vested layabouts who can’t even count to ten and insist on whining about the debt being nothing to do with them which was our point in the first place all of this is none of your business, you should have left it to experts like Herren Veryzealous and Smarmarse now there were men who knew how to say yes.
     Your game-playing baldie Janice Varofuckov – see, even his name is Russian – makes fun of our glorious German workers who are already in penury and on the verge of selling their children just to be ready for the dreadful cost of your despicable decision inside our eurozone to shit rather than go outside to take a dump to default well let me tell you goatherding nonentities that the clue is in the name, because default is all yours and just when we were starting to turn the corner you rabble stabbed us in the back and so now their patience is wearing thin with the help of Bild in whose hallowed pages I have chosen to make this final eleventh hour last chance five to midnight last minute appeal for you to come to your senses and capitulate.
     I send this reasonable request in all humility and recognition of you as a member State in the European Union and in recognition of the many friends I have made in Greece while waiting several hours for service in your quaint tavernas.
     Most sincerely
     Your avenging Angel Gabriel x’

CUCKOO - Skopje Professor says on 9th day God created the FYROManians (VIDEO)

The following clip shows Aristotel Tentov, FYROM professor of engineering, who gained “fame” in nationalist circles by performing pseudo-archaeological and pseudo-historic research which explains the emergence of the FYROManian people as a Divine work, superior in all aspects from the rest of humankind. This is a part of his recent interview on a talk-show on the channel of extremely pro-Gruevski television station SITEL in which Tentov postulates a Divine cosmogony which elevates “Makedonci” people of FYROM as a special creation, hierarchically over all other humans.

For many FYROM citizens, especially among the younger generation, the “new reading of history” is a basic fuel of nationalism and suprematism which is cultivated through pseudo-history in a very energetic manner since the onset of Nikola Gruevski’s VMRO-DPMNE rule since 2006.

Soros has worked his magic here indeed.

Editor's Note: Silly you and you thought God only created Adam and Eve and the world in seven days. Thankfully this man enlightened us. Truth is... We have no words, even science does not have an explanation about his condition.

MUST READ - My Great Big FAT Greek Deputy PM Blob - LoL

Benny Hill’s only known love-child - Credit - The Slog

Three-lunches Venizelos now has two offices. In the streets of Athens, his fellow citizens rummage in the garbage. But Brussels approves of him.

When things finally start returning to normal in Greece (life without Brussels-am-Berlin bullies, corrupt politicians, having enough to eat etc) the first bloke likely to have his neck stretched or enjoy a little rueful decapitation will be Evangelos Venizelos, the man who even stole another’s surname to sell himself to the highest bidder.

The only problem in carrying out this lenient sentence will be finding a long enough piece of ship’s rope to stand the weight as the trapdoor opens, or a guillotine deep enough to travel all the way through his 500 centimetre neck. Or indeed, finding his neck in the first place.

Verrizealous has become the personification of spineless Greek elite resistance to the Mad Sprouts, as he is winched and wedged from one limo to another, surrounded by Blackwater guards, dark clouds of Lagardelist, and the whiff of continuous emissions from his anus.

But now, his bloated ego (still trying desperately to catch up with his belly) has made more demands to go with his Nick Cleggolopoulus-style non-job as Deputy Prime Minister.

Evanjello already has one of the best government offices in town, in the foreign ministry’s Andreas Sygros Mansion located only a stone’s throw from parliament. But now the PASOK Pudding is to get a second government office – and twenty staff – to allow him to "fulfil his role as deputy prime minister".

The cost of all this – published in the government gazette or FEK of two days ago – is described in nauseating detail.

In a full year, this second office for Evanelobese will cost the state – or the taxpayer, depending on how you look at it – the grand total of 468,706 Euros. And that’s not including the 24/7 Domino Pizza & McDo mobile canteen that travels behind his entourage at all times.

And news just in confirms that Venizelos will be banned from visiting the Parthenon, for fear that he might lean on one of the pillars, and thus ruin sixty long years of patient restoration.

But this unpleasant lump of globule in human form is the man trusted by the Troika and Herman van Rompuy to help lead Greece back to the paths of righteousness. My own solution would be to roll him up into a ball, and launch him towards the next Troika contingent that arrives, as a sort of Ten-Pin Bowling solution to the crisis.

Whatever fate befalls Evangelo Venizelos in the end, he will go down in the annals of political history as the quintessence of depraved, greedy rejection of a Socialist tradition from which he supposedly emerged. The French would use the term collaborateur, with all its ghastly overtones of doing business with the Nazis while others starved. It is the perfect analogy.

The Slog

Does humor on the Internet mold political thinking?

Humor is a powerful communications tool with potential political implications at various levels of society, as the recent Danish political cartoon representations of the Prophet Mohammad and the political repercussions and resulting economic boycotts demonstrated. Purcell and colleagues' paper looks at humor as an important form of popular culture in the creation of geopolitical worldviews.

The authors use 'disposition theory' – a framework that allows them to understand who will regard which content as funny, and how derisive humor can be seen as amusing – to examine particular types of humor in texts which reflect society's concerns, developments and relationships, and by extension, the geopolitical implications of these texts. With an emphasis on social context, the theory suggests that the appreciation of humor is dependent, in part, on whether one holds a positive or negative attitude, or disposition, toward the object of humor.

Purcell and colleagues analyze two stand-up comedy routines performed by American ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. The skits center on the character of Achmed the Dead Terrorist, an unsuccessful suicide bomber. The humor plays on anti-Arab/Muslim sentiment. Dunham uses his audiences' disposition towards terrorists to get laughs, while at the same time challenging his audience members to look at their own views of terrorism, Islam, and American efforts in Iraq.

Purcell and colleagues show that disposition theory is useful to help place humor as a fluid, global phenomenon shared through various social networks via the Internet. Thanks to new communication technologies including YouTube.com, audiences around the world are engaged and can participate. The technology takes participants seriously by providing a point of entry where they can put forward their views of the world. This amplifies the potential impact of any geopolitical text.

They conclude that "the diffusion of humor with geopolitical content to a global viewing audience, via personal networks spanning multiple scales, forces us to consider the role of individuals (via forwarding and dissemination) as producers and reproducers of geopolitical codes and active participants in constructing enemies and threats, even in the guise of a two-foot tall puppet."

My Big Fat Greek Minister (Ex BBC Reporter Slams Pangalos LOL)

This is definately a MUST READ. Renowned journalist Greg Palast, who turned his skills to journalism after two decades as a top investigator of corporate fraud, literally characterized former PASOK Minister Theodore Pangalos as a "Fat Bastard" in his latest article which was featured in Vice Magazine and then republished on his own personal website.

Greg Palast’s book Vultures’ Picnic (Constable Robinson UK/Penguin USA), including chapters on Greece and Goldman, are expected to be published in Greek in early fall by Livanis.  Download the first chapter, Goldfinger, and videos at VulturesPicnic.org.

By Greg Palast
for Vice Magazine via gregpalast.com

The journalist met Pangalos at a Eurasia Media Forum in Kazakhstan and he begins his article by saying that "it wasn't too difficult picking out the Fat Bastard in the crowd of Russian models, craven moochers and media mavens. Besides, Fat Bastard and I were both desperate for coffee and heading for the same empty urn.

(Kazakhstan's annual Eurasia Media Forum, is a kind of Burning Man festival for Eastern oilgarchs and their media camp followers.)

Palast says that his his policy is never to mention an interlocutor's weight, nor question the legitimacy of his or her age, but, this particular Greek Minister whom he calls a "Fat Bastard" was asking for it.

"I had tried to put the belly of this beast out of my thoughts, but I still had a New York Times story folded in my pocket that begins: As an elementary school principal, Leonidas Nikas is used to seeing children play, laugh and dream about the future. But recently he has seen something altogether different, something he thought was impossible in Greece: children picking through school trash cans for food; needy youngsters asking playmates for leftovers; and an 11-year-old boy, Pantelis Petrakis, bent over with hunger pains. Fat Bastard – or Theodoros Pangalos, thinks the little Greek kiddies should stop belly-aching. Pangalos, as you can see from the photo below, is not bent over with hunger pains. In fact, he looks more likely to be bent over with labour pains, but in truth he probably just can't bend over at all.

Pangalos is best known for blaming the working people of Greece for the horror and the hunger among the ruins of what was once Greece's economy. However, it is, of course, not his fault; until last year, and through the core of the crisis, he was just Greece's Deputy Prime Minister – why should he be held accountable for anything?

Minister Pangalos is much loved by Europe's banking chieftains, by vulture speculators and by Prussian President Angela Merkel because they've got themselves a gigantic Greek who will mouth their mantra: that his nation's sudden collapse can be blamed squarely on olive-pit-spitting, lazy-ass Greeks who won't work more than three hours a week, then retire while they're still teenagers to swill state-subsidised ouzo.

Pangalos leads the Fifth Column of Greeks calling to accept Germany's terms of economic surrender: austerity, meaning cuts in food allowances, in pensions, in jobs. As of this week, more than one in four Greeks (27 percent) are out of work.

While we hunted for caffeine, Fat Bastard told me that anyone who complains about the austerity diktat, "Is a fascist or a communist or a conspiracy theorist." He didn't tell me which of these three categories the 11-year-old kids complaining of hunger pains fell into.

Just for the record, those Greeks who can get a job, work 619 more hours per year (see table) than the average German (and way, way more than Britons or Americans as well)."

WE LOVE YOU GREG PALAST

HUMOR - Long Line-Up For Greek Hell - LOL

A man died and ended up going to hell. Once there he found out that there was a different hell for each country of the world, so he walks into the German hell and asks, "What do they do here, and the German tells him: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then you lay you on a bed of nails for another hour and finally the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

Not liking the sound of that, the dead man decided to move along and visited the American, the Russian, the Chinese, the Canadian, the British and the French hells, etc..  and discovered that they more or less did the same thing as the German hell.

But then low and behold he came across the Greek hell, and noticed that there was a long line of people from all nationalities waiting to get in. Amazed, he asked someone, "What do they do offer in this hell? And someone from the crowd answered back, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Greek devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

Stunned, the dead man said: "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

And the same voice answered back: "Because the maintenance crew is always on strike, there is no electricity so the electric chair doesn't work, Albanians have stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Government employee, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to have his frappe and eat kourabie all day..."

LOL

(Editor's Note - The reference to Albanians is not our idea... this joke has widely circulated on the internet).
 

HUMOR - The Obedient (and typical) Greek wife

Petros was a Greek immigrant man who had worked all his of life, had saved all of his money and was a real 'miser' (tsingouni) when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his Greek wife.... "Voula, when I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the after life with me." And so he persuaded Voula to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. Petros was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, (what else) screaming 'Petros my love, where are you going?' and her best friend Tasia, was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the priest got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!" Voula put a small metal box into the casket. Then the priest locked the casket down and they rolled it away...

So her friend said, "Voula!, I know you weren't foolish enough to put all that money in there with him!." "Listen" Voula said, "I'm a Greek Orthodox wife and I cannot go back on my word. I promised Petros that I was going to put that money in the casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

AMEN!

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